Insects and Chafing

OMFGGFGFFGFGFGFGFGFGFGGGGGGGSHHHHH today was a fun day. However, it was totally not my day. FARKING SHIZ AS. The beach and bus rides were totally cool...except for a few things. So i got to the beach. All was good. Then i started tanning. Not cool, but that was like considered 1 on the scale of terrible things happening today. Mentos ice. Had to worry about that. But that wasn't even worth worrying compared to the rest. So after a few times of surfing in the water...ah duh...where else would you surf...? actually sand surfing is quite fun...except for the part where you have to walk up this massive dune in dry, hot sand. ANYWAY. After a few times, i got up and it felt like i had a cut between my thighs. So i thought, nah this is tolerable...it's just a cut. But then i dipped it in salt water. Then i thought. Okay this is starting to hurt. But think of how much more painful people suffer from wounds from natural disasters...so i thought na, i shouldn't complain. (wow Hilary, you're sooooo thoughtful! LOL). So anyway, then i got up out of the water. My boardies started rubbing against my "cuts" even more esp. with the added salt. It was then that was the point where i started to complain coz it was literally pouring salt into a wound. So sorry for all the people who had to tolerate my complaining but my gosh did it sting. From then on, i started walking strangely...initially walking via the hips, so bringing each hip forward so that i didn't have to move my legs...then that was too much effort, so i just walked with my legs straight. BUT BROS, CAN I JUST SAY, THAT THAT WASN'T EVEN THE MOST PAINFUL THING. What WAS, was when i got home and took a shower. This has to be the most excruciating shiz ever...even more than the scratching of the pimple...i would probs score that a 6 if this was a 10 pointer. As with other wounds, i'd wash it in the shower, knowing that it'd sting for a few seconds and then the pain would go away. BUT NOT THIS TIME DAMMIT. In fact it'd stung so much that i was literally screaming and swearing like crazy...it hurt so much that i can't even describe how much it'd stung. Poor me :( So basically, it hasn't really gotten better even though i've put cream and shiz on it...yeah...i'm still walking like that. Moving on, i was watching World News Australia on SBS and they started to talk about the Korea thing. I decided to go online on my school laptop to find out more about it. Suddenly, all these ants started crawling out, onto my body, so i started brushing them off arms and legs...and i think one of them bit the area which was chafed which was farking ;lfkjweofiheofkjsdhnfjk fark i wanted to kill them so badly...they even piss the shiat out of me right now. FARK I'M SO PISSED!!! I HATE ANTS TO THE MAX BRO I HATE THEM!!!! FARK FARK FARK!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRR SDLFJHSD;FKUSDHFEDOJFSKLDSFJD STUPID ANTS CAN GO SCREW THEMSELVES. I WANT TO KILL THE QUEEN ANT SO THAT SHE WON'T PRODUCE ANYMORE STUPID LITTLE SLAVE ANTS YOU MOTHERFARKER. I showed my mum all these ants, but for some reason, they left when i tried to show her. So my stupid, nosey-ass bro goes "Did you take ice?" NO YOU FREAKING RETARD THE ANTS WERE FREAKING THERE THOSE DUMBASS ANTS FARK GO AND CRAWL ON LIKE POO OR DEAD ANIMALS DAMMIT FARK YOU ALL. IT WAS SO DISGUSTING DAMMIT F;LKJSOIDFK. My mum sussed out my laptop and turns out they were coming out of my laptop coz my mum tapped the laptop and these ants started to come out. SHIT IT WAS GROSS. So after tapping them, my skin became itchy, and still is, so i've created another rash on the top of my right foot. OMGGGGASHHHHH then i went on facebook. What decides to come onto my skin NOW? A FARKING MOSQUITO. AND NOT JUST AN ORDINARY SIZED ONE, BUT A FARKING MASSIVE MASSIVE MASSIVE ONE. IT WAS ABOUT 2 CM ALL AROUND...WHATEVER THAT MEANS, BUT THE BODY WAS SO DARK AND I COULD SEE IT SO CLEARLY AND IT WAS FARKING DISGUSTING DAMMIT FARK I HATE THIS I HATE IT HOW THE INSECTS COME OUT NOW. GO BACK AND HIDE IN YOUR STUPID DUMBASS HOLES OR WHEREVER YOU FARKING LIVE DAMMIT.

Other than that, the chips and Ben and Jerry's ice cream were the highlight of my day. Which then reminds me, today, for some reason, i was craving pizza so i asked my mum if we could order pizza. Then she said she already cooked rice. I got sooo pissed that we couldn't have pizza. That was weird. What else was weird, was that i kept eating today. Breakfast, i had a half a two-sliced sandwich with avocado and turkey and lettuce...only coz my mum woke up before me and made it :D Which is extremely rare, coz my usual brekkie is Up& Go...which is extremely convenient. Then for morning tea and lunch, i had:

• biscuits
• 2 x pears
• a full two- sliced sandwich consisting of exactly the same things for brekkie
• 3 L of water
• hot chips
• ice cream
• lollipop

After school, i had biscuits again, dinner, which was rice with veggies and meat...the usual. After dinner, i had oranges and apples.

Wow. That is a lot of food.

Today was not a cool day...yet at the same time, it was. Hope everyone had a better day than what i had. =="

~heelorli

Sniffles. Haha sounds like dog.

Omgggggaaashhhh i just broke my record for not getting a cold this whole year. That's right. YEAR. No, not week, not fortnight, not month, not term, not semester, not half-year, but year. The stage i'm at is the most damn irritating stage of the cold. Where i blow my nose every 30 secs. Of course i'd like to blow something else every 30 secs ;). LOL SECS. haa.haa. ANYWAY. The intense blowing of my nose leads to a screwed up nose, obviously. The skin of my nose starts peeling after it becomes super red. And it's not like the whole nose goes red, it's the bit between the nostrils that blushes. lol. blushes and stings like shizzle. This ain't really helpful at the moment since i've got my prd right now, which makes it super inconvenient to go to the beach on thursday. The problem isn't that i've got a cold and so i can't swim/ it'll get worse, which probably isn't even possible. But it's coz i'm probably gonna be so busy blowing my nose that i won't even have fun. And i'll probs be all dizzy and shiz and not know what the hell i'm doing and then i'll faint and float away into the sea...which would then lead to me stuck in the middle of the ocean. I would then swim to the nearest island i can find and get a volleyball and name it Wilson. But thankfully, i would know how to survive in the wild. How? Obviously, Bear Grylls. I love that man. Therefore, with all those weeks of survival lessons, which have been 283 times more helpful than these lessons at life and resilience, i would be able to survive the 1001 days on the island...hopefully not turning into wild beasts due to a lack of authority and order in the society since i will probably meet some littluns who have no freaking idea where they are because the authorities thought it'd be better off for them to be isolated from a war-torn nation where they have been neglected...this is otherwise known as "protectionism". Then i would build a boat. No, not papa's boat. But BEAR'S BOAT, which is 20 times more stable and provides a higher chance of survival because bear doesn't have a paperbag face. Instead, he has a bear face. haa.haa. This boat will then be built by bear's camera crew and made of logs and vines and tree sap to stick some stuff like branches and shiz together. This will then be my form of transportation for the next 238 hours. I will then arrive home, rub my cheek against the soft, 3 ply toilet paper as though i was raised by dogs. I will then write a short story, poem, feature article, letters to the editor with opposing views and a speech to the school assembly about my experience. I will name them all, "There are no signposts in the sea". After that, i will write a reflection statement, including an evaluation of what i did, and how i could've improved on it.

But as they all say, prevention is better than a cure. So i shouldn't go surfing or to the beach at all. But i want to go surfing. So tough, Hilary. Man up.

~heelorli

The Grim Adventures of Hilly and Jeffy

Okay before i go take a shower, i just have to rage about washing dishes. Gosh i don't even know where to start. So obviously after dinner, my stupid, dumbass brother goes "HEY HILARY, YOU HAVEN'T WASHED THE DISHES IN A LOOONG TIME. WHY DON'T YOU DO IT TONIGHT?" In front of my dad...who was probs gonna wash it anyways...coz i was kinda busy...........watching hamish and andy's reministmas.........anyway omgsh it was the worst washing-dish session. First, i forgot to wear the apron...which probably doesn't even do anything anyway coz it seeps right through and once i finish washing the dishes, i probably won't even need the shower....or wash my clothes...wow 3-in-1! no. So then i was washing the dishes....actually this accounts for each time i wash the fricking dishes. OKAY SCREW THE RECOUNTING. I'M GONNA LIST WHY I FREAKING HATE WASHING DISHES. CLEANING THE TOILET'S PROBABLY EVEN BETTER.

1. My hands freaking stink like rubber shiz afterwards...which right now.
2. EVERYTIME MOTHERFARKING TIME I FORGET TO TAKE THE RICE BOWL THING OUT OF THE RICE COOKER AND PUT THE REMAINING RICE INTO A TAKE-AWAY BOX AND CLEAN THE BOWL THING...and that takes so much damn effort.
3. THIS IS THE SAME WITH THE PLACEMATS. I finish washing everything and look at the table. AND THE FRICKING PLACEMATS ARE STILL FARKING THERE. So i have to fill up the sink again, squeeze that shiz in and wash it. AND THEN RINSE IT. AND THIS IS THE CAUSE OF MY DISH-WASHING SHOWER. COZ THE PLACEMATS ARE SO FREAKING FLOPPY AND ONCE THEY BEND IN THE WRONG DIRECTION, WATER GOES FLYING EVERYFREAKINGWHERE.
4. For some dumbass reason, when i take the plug out of one sink, the plug in the other sink like pops out and all the shiz from the sink of water goes down the sink...? no down the drain? which totally defeats the fricking purpose of a strainer.
5. THEN THERE'S THE SPONGE. I use an actual sponge...not a sponge on a stick...which i've tried to convince my mum to buy...but she's like just use a damn sponge ==" it takes freaking months to squeeze out all the soap from the sponge so not only is it a waste of time, but also a waste of water...WHICH ALSO APPLIES TO THE WHOLE DISH-WASHING PROCESS DAMMIT. WASTE OF TIME AND WATER. Why don't we just use disposable plates and utensils?!?!?!? Apart from the fact that it'd be EXTREMELY ENVIRONMENTALLY UNFRIENDLY. and expensive. and stupid. it'd be super convenient. except then you'd have to go and refill your stock like every week...which would then be quite inconvenient...just a tad bit....

DESPITE THIS there is one thing i like about washing dishes though. It's slightly weird, but i really like washing the chopping board coz it's too big to fit into our sink nicely, so i stand it up, and brush the water up from the sink with the sponge and rub it all over the board...doesn't that remind you of something?? Yes! Washing a baby!!! Even the sounds of the soft water-splashing sound like it!!! :D

Also i don't get how people, i.e. the men in our family, can wash the dishes without gloves. LOL men in the kitchen? Nooo wayy. Yes way bru. It's quite disgusting...like i don't mean to sound like a princess or anything...what the hell. How is washing dishes a princess? Princesses don't ever touch dirty dishes. They leave it to the servants...or to put it nicely, the maids. So i, the maid, doesn't understand how people can wash the dishes and touch the squashed, pureed, greasy water without gloves. That's quite disgusting.

So while i was washing my babies, my bro decided to come in a rub it nice and smoothly into my face. He goes "Oh i thought i was washing the dishes....JOKES!" =="""""""" My face absorbed it alright. (lol im trying to go with the metaphor of "rubbing it into my face"...................)

Talking about metaphors, today we went walking at meadowbank park, which would be the explanation of my invisibility in the darkness...haa.haa you get it? Okay, i got really tanned. And i was walking with my bro. This was quite a competitive walk since we were both trying to walk in front of each other. Esp. with boiz and their ego.........So throughout the whole thing, we were walking and overtaking each other on the somewhat narrow footpath. For the last 15 mins, he beat me by a fair bit and walked in front of me, DELIBERATELY NOT LETTING ME OVERTAKE. Then we got to the oval. MY GOSH IT WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GREEN GRASS I'D EVER SEEN. IT WAS LITERALLY A CARPET OF GRASS. LOL. how many literary techniques did i just use in that sentence? Irony, metaphor, imagery. So yeah, walking on the grass. He continued to walk in front of me, again not letting me overtake him. Then he goes "haa.haa. you get the metaphor? Even in this vast area of grass, i'm not letting you get in front of me."

So that was my day. Far out the toilet paper thing happened again today. Where someone left like 2 squares of toilet paper on the roll so that they didn't have to remove it, chuck it in the RECYCLING bin and replace it. ==" so i had to do that. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Yay. tomorrow's SAIL showcase. Yay. yay. yay...........................what are we gonna do?? Stand around reading reports all day? I mean, not that the reports are boring or anything...since im sure everyone has been producing meaningful work for the past year, eager to show off, tomorrow, what they've done for the WHOLE YEAR and not the night before it was due. Haha and i'm tooootally not one of those people. Like fur real. I wasn't. Not trying to boast or anything. :D

~heelorli