Beautiful Things in my Life...

Harloooooo!!! Today we met up for SRC planning day at a v. beautiful park. WAH...yes it is! ROO (no there weren't any roos) GAAHH!!! IT WAS SO PRETTY! (lol you see what i did there? ;) So we planned for SW, blah blah blah hahajokes, BUT THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY WAS....wait for it......A DOG IN A HAT!!! IT WAS THE FKING CUTEST DOGGY IN A HAT EVER!!! Coz it wasn't like one of those fobby dog outfits which is supposed to make them cute...which then uncutifies them instead...WHICH REMINDS ME, i don't know if i've said this, but in hong kong, i saw this dog in a dog fricking pram. WHAT THE FRICKING SHIT BRO. AND NOT ONLY THAT, THE FRICKING DOG WAS WEARING SHOES. SERIOUSLY DOUBLE WHAT THE FRICKING SHIT. (yes that was swear-worthy). It's even worse than when this chinese kid in a pram was chucking a tanty...how did his mother silence him? SHE FRICKING GAVE HIM HER MUZZAFRICKING IPHONE. HE'S ONLY LIKE 2-3 YEARS OLD AND YOU'RE FEEDING HIM HIS PREMATURE GAMING FRENZY. WHAT THE SHIZZLE BRO? (no that was not swear-worthy). So back to the cute-ass doggy :D (yeah i say doggy, bitchez, instead of dog because it adds to the cuteness of the dog...gy) So he/she was wearing this little dark green postman's cap, and it was like a little pug. Unfortunately, no onegot to take a picture of it coz we were all frozen by its cuteness. and i think i'm saying the word 'cute' way too much. So let me find pics similiar to what the dog looked like.

so on his little head, was...

which made him look like this :D HOW FRICKING CUTE IS HE!?!?!?!?

and it was trying to keep up with its owners so it was kinda running with its adorable stubby legs!!!! FRICK THAT WAS SOOOOO CUTE!!!!! And that picture of the pug took me quite a while to pick coz shiat man all the pics were fricking f;lksdnfdeifjeifzomgshcrazyasscute!!!! And LOL random fact...whenever i see something like SUPER SUPER cute (e.g. the pics of the pugs) my mouth starts producing excessive saliva...it's normal right.......?

So yeah, that was the highlight of my day...as well as looking up pics of pugs...like, lol jokes man..................................... i'm not that lame....................................awkward.......................................................

Moving on from those cute little pugs...which look like half pigs and half dogs...WHICH EXPLAINS THE NAME PUG. pig-dog...TOOOOTALLY MAKES SENSE NOW!! Haha so i was going through the pics of pugs right, and i came across this pic:

WHICH IS EQUALLY AS SHIVER-WORTHY OF THIS PIC:

Yes, the ultimate sphynx cat. BUT HAIRLESS PUG WINS SPHYNX CAT ANY DAY COZ IT'S A DOG.

Wow going through those sphynx cat photos just dried up all my saliva.

ANYWAY, ACTUALLY moving on from those pugs and aliens...WHICH REMINDS ME of that alien that was dropped off in Russia a few days ago...looked exactly like that sphynx cat...except it looked kinda bruised and shiz... and man it was disgusting.

Lol actually, i have nothing else to move onto...

Okay bye.

~heelorli

Just doing some endorsing

Haroooooooo okay just voluntarily endorsing a few things (although i tooootally should get paid for this).

Egg facials. WOW they actually...probably work! I got this off Michelle Phan (endorsement #1). So basically you get an egg, separate the white from the yolk, whisk the white, shove it in the oven and BING! YOU'RE DONE. Lol. no....that's how you make a meringue. OKAY SO VERRRRRRY SIMPO. It's basically what i said. Just don't fricking shove it in the oven. First step: smear the whisked egg white on your face. NOTE this facial kinda stinks...mainly stinks up your bathroom more than your face....no actually they stink the same. But it's okay, it's just egg. OH AND NOT A GOOD IDEA IF YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO EGG...for slightly obvious reasons....................................alright! That would've been the safety audit in a scientific experiment, and i would've gotten marks deducted coz i didn't write that first and a teacher would probs say "it would'nt be very helpful if you wrote that at the end would it?" and i'd be like "piss of mate" and they'd be like wtshizzle brah. okay that made no sense coz a) i didn't even write it at the end and b) this isn't a scientific experiment brudda.

So yeah smear it on your face, then wait for it to dry and then wash it of with "lukewarm" water. Lol what's with that word anyway? Lukewarm. I would like to know how that word came to be. In fact, i will search it up right away.

Lukewarm is a compound adjective based on the now obsolete MiddleEnglish luke ‘tepid’.

ah.....totes get it now. ANYWAY. Then you smear on the egg yolk and leave it on until it becomes like all hard and shiz and then lukewarm water it off!

Then your face should feel and look awesome!

ALSO showers. I hate it when you tell people not to use your awesome herbal essences shampoo and conditioner (endorsement #2) coz it's especially made for awesome long hair and then people with short-ass hair use it anyway and they say "ohhh but i only use this little" but, stupid one, this little bit accumulates to this much (hand gesture)...............................is what a crazyass selfish biatch would say.

Just a straight out endorsement (#3) biore is an awesome brand for facial wash.

HIMYM TIME!!!!!! (endorsement #4)THE FRICKING LATEST EPISODE IS FRICKING HILARIOUS I DON'T THINK LOL, ROFL, LMAO, ROFLCOPTER, LMFAO, HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA, LULZ, ZOMGASH LULZ, FRICKING LOOOOLL CAN DESCRIBE IT. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE PART WHERE THEY DECIDE ON WHICH STRIP CLUB TO GO TO. HAHAHAHAHAH THIS IS S6 EP 21 BTW AND ZOMGASH I WOULD TOTALLY PUT THE VID UP HERE BUT YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANNA GET FINED/ SUED FOR COPYRIGHT LAWS THEN THERE'D BE TORTS, AFFIDAVITS, SUMMONS TO COURT WHATEVER THAT TERM IS....anditstoomucheffort.

And just saying, I TOTALLY SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO WINCHY WHEN SHE TALKED ABOUT HEART OF DARKNESS PRACTICE ESSAY. LIKE BRO, "To what extent can a contemporary reader respond approriately to 'Heart of Darkness'? " REALLY? BRO, REALLY?!?!? uhh like a contemporary reader can respond confuzzledly coz Joseph Conrad bro, speak English. WHICH WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE SHIATLOADS OF ASSOCIATIONS WITH THE ACTUAL CONTENT OF THE BOOK since it's all about english colonisation and how he was actually talking about the English, but he used Belgiums coz he was actually criticising english peeps landing in Congo and all this post-colonial discourse AND ZOMG KILL ME NOW.

Okay bubye. I do realise the font and spacing changed but T.M.E. (too much effort - this abbrev. is gonna be a thing). Another thing. How funny is the word abbrev. It's like a word describing itself....? Okay bye.

~heelorli

Beds, Showers and Gherkins

HAAA.HAA. (nelson from simpsons laugh) I bet the title misled ya'll bitchezzz.(lol i'm re-reading this sentence and i thought "misled" was "misle-d" as in pronounced miss-eld...or mise-eld) if you get what i mean....jellybean.....)

ANYWAY, I AM FREAKING IN LOVE WITH GHERKINS MUDDERBITCHEZ. And i have been for the past two weeks. Gawshezzzzzz. lol. no that word's gay. WHICH REMINDS ME. I've been trolling youtube and i found some trolls called nigahiga and kevjumba who trolled like trolls. Yeah, no. I still don't know how to use "troll". And yeah that just reminded me of one of their vids. I've only started to actually non-stop watch them today. Yeahhh no yeah...just 5 years late. I'm using yeah no yeah an awful lot aye?

OKAY. Back to the gherkins. MAN THEY ARE THE BEST DAMN SNACK/FOOD/ THING on this fricking planet dammit. Omgsh just thinking about them makes my mouth produce excessive saliva which is currently gradually exiting my mouth, down my chin and...plop! onto the desk. And believe it or not, it's not their shape i've fallen in love with ;) It's the WHOLE PACKAGE DAMMIT. First you unscrew the lid, which takes a while especially if it's a new jar, coz that just builds suspense and your mouth would be doing the same as mine right now. Then when you hear that "pop!", man you're in business (quoting huey the cook/chef dude who wears cool-ass braces. As in non-teeth braces but brace braces. Which reminds me, is he even on channel ten anymore? Coz his kind of cooking was like pour in a barrel of Campbell's chicken stock. Wrap it in pre-made pastry. Buy a can of whipped cream. Buy filleted fish and mush it altogether. "Then you're in business" Like Huey bro, come on.) Yeah, back to the gherkins. So you take out a fork/toothpick. (Forks would be better coz sometimes the toothpick isn't long enough to get to the gherkins further down the jar, which then leads to you touching the best damn thing in the world - gherkin juice. Lol i mean the vinegar thing that makes gherkins so fricking delicious and delectable and tastayyyy. And then people would be like omgash you touched the juicy thing and then you'd be like "wtf like, no i didn't" and then they'd be like "like, yeah you did, i'm like totes not eating those anymore" AND THEN SCORE. WHOLE JAR IS YOURS. In which case, toothpick would be better) SO you take the fork/toothpick out of the jar, with a 7.5cm gherkin attached to the end. You open wide. (as in mouth, not.....something else.................awkward.................................) AND THEN BAM! THE FLAVOURS JUST BURST OUT OF THE GHERKIN AND LANDS IN EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY (lulz) OF YOUR FRICKING MOUTH AND THEN YOUR TASTEBUDS GO FRICKING CRAZYYYYYYYYY LIKE ZOMGWTSHIZDF;SKDFJDFKLSJFDJFL BARGHHHHHHHH AND THEN YOUR MOUTH PRODUCES WAYYYYY TOO MUCH SALIVA SINCE IT'S STIMULATED BY THE GHERKIN ;) AND THEN......you swallow. BEST. GHERKIN. EXPERIENCE. EVER.

Then man, you think about the experience and damn, i think that drop of saliva is burning through the desk coz DAYUM that gherkin was awesome.

So that's my holiday. LULLZAAAAA BRO. JOKES. I've been doing wayyyy more than that. . .................like..........watching HIMYM.........forthe4thtime. WHICH REMINDS ME funny quote. So Robin was at a high school prom (lol that's so american) and she came across these "nerds" who were calculating something. but they got the calculation wrong. So she was like "Wow, nerds who are bad at math. You're gonna get far in life." WHICH MADE ME L-TO THE-O-TO THEFRICKING-L.

Okay bye.

Wait, just realised i didn't explain the title. They're things i'm fricking loving at the moment.

Okay fur real friendzzz bye.

~heelorli