Humpback Whale

So today i publicly dry humped the water (or should i say, 'wet' humped ;)......... lol jokes. i was doing butterfly kick with a kickboard. Well it might as well have been humping the water cause that's what it felt like. So dayum awkies man. hahaha i won't go into deets about what exactly i was doing because it will probably sound R rated. Okay let me try. Because i love challenges betches. So i had my arms stretched, grabbing onto the board with my dear life, fingers wrapped around the very top edge. My boday was stretched as i thrust ....okay no this is reaching MA+. lulz. but you get the idea. please don't imagine it either. that'd be weird. Actually it's probs be too late. Shiat moving on...to the next topic.............................gahhhhh this post is getting so awkies.

So on freitag (yes i'm German betchezzz) Mr. Burlehhh (as Lav would say hahahhaha) announced that he would be going on long-service leave from the end of this term till next year term 3. WHICH MEANS HE WON'T BE TEACHING US FOR YEAR 12!!! I feel so bad for raging at him even though it clearly wasn't my fault he got angry....totes not my fault. We just regained our fricking rep and now we need to go through this whole cycle again with some other teacherrr?!?!?!? our game plan had just started to kick in. (lol this joke would totes work if we were a soccer team). BUT NUUUUU sure, we said our aim was to get him to retire. Sure we wanted really badly to get rid of him as a teacher. But we didn't realise we were THAT influential. (seriously guys, Forbes' Top 100 Most Influential candidate right here) and him - THAT obedient. (lol this is funny because in my raging post, i said something about me being obedient or some shiz) Even the sky was crying for us. In fact, the sky was crying for us for the whole week. Maybs the weather this past week had been an omen leading up to freitag's "devz forevz" announcement. ooft. So anyway, relating back to HIMYM, they had a theory which was extremely accurate. Shiat i love HIMYM. It actually has better life teachings/ theories than......some other philosophical books that i cannot think of at the moment......................So there was that ep where Marshall hated his job so much he decided to quit. But on the last day, he realised how much he would miss everything and he started to like being there. And same shiz with Robin. She was going out with this dude, i think? and she was going to break up with him except just before the break up, she realised how much she was.....going...to.....gosh this is getting so emotional...........................miss him............ *wails in a corner* *sniffs* *wipes away a tear* *blows fricking nose like a fricking elephant making that retarded noise which now reminds me of an elephant giving birth - search up on youtube because there's a video where a preggaz elephant plops this babeh elephant out.....along with a shitload of placenta juice and all this fluid that flows out of the elephant's womb like a fricking waterfall.*. So pretty much this is the period the whole class except for Jha Jha Binks is going through. (LULZ I TOTES MEAN THE ELEPHANT PREGNANCY HAHAHHAHAHA NO.==") Jha was fricking lhao (laughing her ass off HAHAHAHAA LAUGHING HAO!!! okay it's not that funny.) while he was announcing it. Stewbut woman.

Okay enough talk about animals. Bye.

Fricking Phone Companies

I totally forgot about why i came on to blog tonight.

It's cause of fking phone companies that don't tell you accurately how much internet you have fricking used in one month and you end up paying $2940.39 at the end of the fking month on top of your $49 stupid cap plan. Lol jokes it was only $56 on top of the $49. STILL. FOOK YOU THREE/VODAFONE. I bet it's cause they merged, and now three thinks it's top shit so they can inaccurately update your internet usage. Fking hell find some other way into making profit instead of leeching money off awesome, non-stupid people who watch how much they spend.

So pretty much i walked home today, went to the mailbox and saw the phone bill. My heart start pounding because i kind of knew i used too much internet this/ last month. But i only thought it would be like $10 extra or some shiz. BUT NO. FKING THREE/VODAFKINGFONE LIKES TO IMMORALLY TRICK PEOPLE BY CHARGING THEM FKING $348059483 PER FKING MEGABYTE. GAHHHHHHH So with my heart skipping many beats and me pretty much hyperventilating (yes it is way more stressful than school reports) i opened the soggy envelope. I quickly leafed through the unnecessary-but-probably-necessary-in-the-future-records-of-phone-calls-for-each-person-which-not-only-is-a-waste-of-paper-but-it-is-really-trippy-because-it's-just-pages-and-pages-of-numbers-almost-like-the-betting-section-in-the-newspaper-not-that-i-bet-on-horses-or-anything-of-course..........and i got to my page. I scanned down and HOLY MOTHERSHIZZ A HUNDRED AND FIVE FRICKING BUCKS WAS MY TOTAL. but it's okay i've had worse. I had a 300 hundred dollar bill once. Not that i'm proud of it. I'm just saying to make myself feel better this time round. And to think that people learn from their mistakes. what a joke. But yeah, i'm hiding the bill under my laptop until i get a fifty dollar note from the atm and give it to them so that they don't start blasting verbal shit at me. LOL jokes how disrespectful of me. I was meant to say - so they don't start highlighting my mistakes and constructively teach me how to live my life...out of parental love. Lol.

Fur realz. Good bye good bye good bye good bye put a smile on your diiiial! Yeahno. Bye.

~heelorli

Just for Laughs

Today was a funny day. From the very beginning. I woke up at 6:15 to try and finish "God of Small Things" It's a good book. I just can't seem to stay awake at 6:15 in the morning. And i think it's also because i put my book lower than my head (LOL like any normal reader does) but i'm also lying down, which then makes my eyelids half-closed anyway so i'm pretty much reading with my eyes closed. Anyway, i read a chapter and went back to sleep. But i don't remember what the chapter was about. What a bummer. What was more of a bummer this morning, was that i missed the express. BUT THEN. (OOFT CHANGE OF TONE HERE.) As i was standing at the top of the stairs on platform 9 & 3/4. Lol jokes. platform 3 of eastwood station, i heard a "HILARY!!! YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME!!! I'M RUNNING UP THERE TO EXPERIENCE YOUR AWESOMENESS!!!!" Or something along those lines. So i looked down. And there, a young, excited, 15 year-old (though not for long ;) girl raced up those stairs to greet me. So i was like "sup dewd". Then began the most wtf 30 minutes of my life. Pretty much, Jess would tell me a "cool" story...though the only thing i thought cool was the weather. (AHAAA.HAA.) So an example of her cool story. Yesterday, she got on the bus and the bus driver was driving very fast. In the dark. Was there something else to it...? Like maybe a point? Oh right. Nup. That's the whole story. LOL but it was extremely entertaining watching her laugh at her own stories.

Also. Today Arun brought up something about the chem quiz. And i mildly pissed off that we haven't even learnt anything this term so i expressed this mild level of pissed offness and was like "WHAT!?! WE HAVEN'T EVEN LEARNT ANYTHING! LIKE I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT WE LEARNT TODAY!!!" Then lav was like "Yeah cause we didn't have chem today." LOL oops.

Which reminds me. I need to do chem hw. BUT RECENTLY fb groups have a been so fricking hilarious. e.g. "being such a good cook that even the smoke alarm is cheering you on." and all the harry potter ones. Which would be funnier if i actually kept up with it. i.e. read them, watched the movies. okay i'm too sleepy to continue. lol ill just leave it here. let's call it a day. i'm gonna start using that more frequently because i'm duh kewl laik daat betchez.

but while i'm still awake, if ya'll take away anything from this post (because all my posts have life-changing things to take away from...) let it be this.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/iPhone-Autocorrect-Making-friendships-awkward-since-2007/146824412053724

the pics are the funniest shiz.

Thank you and good night. Until tomorrow, have a nice evening. This is deborah knight and you're watching ten news at 5. May the force be with you. \\V// (LOL it's the "V" thing with your hands...that's from star wards right? Wait, "may the force be with you" is star wars right...or is it star trek? Damn these sci-fi movies.)

~heelorli