Like omggggg gurl powerrrrr

Okay the title wasn't supposed to sound sarcastic but I figured it would sound incredibly cheesy/corny to say "Girl power. Yeah!" with everyone's hands in the middle and then dispersing...HAHA

So I had this epiphany about something really important. Yeah my posts clearly show what I regard as important. Aaaaanywayyy I was thinking about Beyonce's songs, and they have this progression of increasing gurrrl powerrrrr...like tooootally....okay i should stop sounding sarcastic cause this is a legit argument. Not really an argument but a point i MUST highlight because it will make a huge difference to everybody's lives. Alright here's my evidence:

1) Cater to U(2004): There's something about catering to the man and preparing slippers and meals and shiz. Like omg no gurll powerrrrr.
2) Irreplaceable(2006): Pack your boxes and move on overrrr to the left!!! Wooo! No. this is not a gameshow.
3) Listen (2006): Listen to me bitch. You're going down. Pretty much what the song's about. Well starts off with the chick listening and succumbing to the man's orders etc etc submissive, obedient (the feminism topic from year 11...) and then she finally has the courage to speak her mind!! Wooooooo!!!! And she's like "I can sing whatever i like bitchezzz"
4) Run the World (Girls) (2011): Can it get anymore pro-female?

Also I wanted to say something about North Korea but there are probably peeps out there checking the Internet so i probs shouldn't say it. Lol cause they would totally check out my blog. Well if they do, HEYYYYYYYY BRUDDAS WELCOME TO MY BLOG!!!

Fun fact: I love the way Barney said "blog" in his estonian accent. So a good birthday present would be a recording of him saying "blog" in that estonian accent. LOL

Okies going to go do nothing now!!!

HO! HO! HO! YOU'RE ALL HOS!!!!
Just kidding. Or am I? No. I'm really kidding. Jokes. Not. Jokessssssss.......
Okay bye.

~heelorli

Ruined.

I'm sorry i ruined you. I'm sorry i stepped all over you. I'm sorry I treated you like you were invisible. I'm sorry i didn't value the one thing that matters to you. I honestly do care about you BUT NEXT TIME CAN YOU NOT SPIN YOUR DAMN WEB IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FKING PATHWAY?

YOU'RE WONDERING WHY PEOPLE WANT TO KILL YOU? No. It's not because sometimes you're poisonous. No, it's not because you look fugly as...............alright sorry too far. Who am i to judge your appearance? And no, it's not because people are jelly of your long, thin legs. It's cause you make yourself feel at home in a fricking thoroughfare. People walk into your stupid sticky home. (ayee sticky ;)..........no.) Like i get that you want to catch some food, but really? Humans? Hunt on someone your own size much? Awks...someone's overestimating their size. You fricking know people are going to walk through it yet you stubborn little bitchez keep spinning it in the middle of a damn pathway Like........use your brains bro.

ANYWAY IT'S MANGO/BANAYNAY SEASON!!!! Bananas are down to $3.99 and mangoes were $20 a box from harris farm (haahaa i'm starting to sound like one of those woolies people promoting their fruit on tv....but it's harris farm......so suck it woolies. You money-leeching sons of bitchez...yet for some reason i still shop at you) so we bought $27 worth of fruit.

OH WOAHHHHHHHHH ALSO IS AN ANAGRAM OF LAOS!!!! How did i find out? Just then when i was typing "Also", it came out as "Laos"....there's also sola, loas, osla...nup. okay.

But um...(But um ;) Funny observation. We think Jules Gilly talks funnily/ annoyingly/ retardedly/ slowly/ boganly. HAVE WE EVER PAID ATTENTION TO HOW TONY ABBOTT SAYS "SATURDAY"?!?! HE FRICKING LEGIT SAYS "SATURDEE" HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA IFLY TONY...IT EVEN RHYMES!!! HAHAHHHA

Alright bye.

~heelorli

BKS

Okay, here's something less trivial. i know right, WOAH did i just hear you gasp?!

No? Cause i didn't either.

Illness: BKS, more commonly known as Black Knee Syndrome.

Causes: frequent HGHS oval sitting in a cross-legged position. (absolutely reliable research [my assumption] has suggested that it is prevalent among other schools, but it's a fricking epidemic here at Hornsbo)

Cures: Sitting in the shade, not sitting (i.e. kneeling, standing, squatting....lol jokes, squatting will give you BTS - black thigh syndrome), sitting in the coca-COLA

Just thought i'd spread the word. After all, prevention is better than a cure. SO SCRAP THE CURES AND GO PREVENT IT BY.....actually the cures are pretty much preventions.....just prevent it dammit.

Bye!! (fur real friends)

~heelorli

Wet. Hair.

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'VE MISSED YOU BLOGGY BLOG MCBLOGSTER BLOG-O!!!!!

What's been happening i hear you ask.

Well ten seconds ago, my wet hair was dripping on my maths textbook. And then i took the book away. IT ALWAYS HAPPENS cause i usually do maths right after i have a shower and i wash my hair everyday (yes i know it's bad but my hair becomes really oily...so damn oily it gathers into one bunch of glued- together hair...which only became so because i've been washing it everyday. Sorry hair. Wow hair is such a weird word.........okay.) Oh yeah and especially since the pages are so thin, the little areas around the drop crinkle up. I honestly try and avoid it. Sometimes i tuck my hair into my shirt/ jacket so that it won't drip onto the book...but then my neck gets itchy and i feel like fungus is growing on it.

Anyway something that REALLY fking pisses me off. I think i've blogged about the toilet paper issue. But something that keeps fking happening in this fricking household...well only one stupid ass, motherfking LAZY person commits this fking annoying crime. (based on my rules...which ruleeee the house!!! Jokes. I'm the youngest. I have no say. Jokes it's the 21st century. Times have changed bitchezzzz) Okay so this fking ass hole wiper...okay that's a bit gross. This lay-Z person (haahaa see what i did there? WHICH ALSO REMINDS ME of this funny joke i made up in eco since we were studying global trade organisations. Lol i just took that off the "World Trade Organisation"...what's the general name for the groups called? Something something...i could check my eco book but do i really look bothered? BUT I DO LOOK BROTHERED. HAAAHAAAAAA) Because.......the thing i was supposed to say is that my stupid bruzza has this habit of finishing like a packet of biscuits or some shiz, right, and HE DOES NOT PUT THE DAMN FINISHED PACKET IN THE BIN. WHERE DOES HE FKING PUT IT? BACK IN THE FKING BOX IN THE PANTRY. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU. IS IT THAT HARD TO WALK LITERALLY ONE STEP AND PLACE IT IN A CONTAINER LINED WITH A FRICKING PLASTIC BAG?!?!?! THIS HAS HAPPENED APPROXIMATELY 34983724 TIMES (JUST ROUGHLY) FARK.

And why does it "brother" me? I open the pantry. I look for food. I look at what's in the biscuit box from the outside (through the transparent plastic part.) I think "Hey, there's some plastic in there. There MUST be food to shut my grumbling stomach up." I OPEN THE DAMN BOX. FOOD? NO. NO FKING FOOD. ALL I FKING SEE IS A PLASTIC WRAPPER. Oh wait, sometimes he's nice enough to leave some crumbs in there. OR when he's in a good mood, maybe half a biscuit. Gosh, it's so brothering.

Anyway, the droplets on my textbook have dried up. Which is a sign that i should get back to work.

WAIT I have a metaphor for our HSC. So Hao pointed out this morning that we have 9 months till trials right. Then i was like 9 months....9 months...HEY that's the length of a typical pregnancy!! (note that i said typical because i did not take into account the premature/ overdue (LOL) babehs...;) i do not generalise....generally. HAA.HAA. okay.

But it totes works. I can even put it in a deep-sounding quote. Example:

"We have nine months to go. It will be a time where we will shed tears of pain and joy. It will be one of the most excruciating nine months of our lives. (except for real pregnancy) But if we persevere, it will all be worth it in the end." (i.e. when the baby plops out.)

OOFT MUCH? okay but my explanations and commentary ruined it....a little. Okay read it again without reading the bracketed parts. I hope someone comes across my blog and then quotes me on it as inspiration...you know when you google "inspirational quotes"...i hope it will come up as one of the first results. IF WHOEVER YOU ARE, ARE DECIDING TO QUOTE ME, MY NAME IS HILARY!! So don't put it as Anon. Thanks brah.

Okay good night, and good luck for the future. I wish you all the very best. I wish nothing but the best.....forrr youuuuuuuuu sooo don't forget me, i did , i remember what you saidd...sometimes a lesson learned but sometimes it hurts instead...wow that's deep. Even though i got some of the lyrics wrong cause what i just typed did not make any sense.

Okay bye.

~heelorli

Eepic Showers

Harlooo okay quick one cause i need to do general knowledge *salute* "general" knowledge...LOL actually that would be a really cool name.

So this morning, i went swimming. Afterwards i took a shower. End of story. Haa.haa just kidding. It was actually the most like....epic shower ever. Okay i know 'epic' has been used to liberally these days, but it was actually the most WOAHHHH shower ever. So I was washing the shampoo out of my hair, and this song starts playing. I don't know what it's called, but it's one damn epic song. It was like 'My Heart will go on" kind of song...but even more WOAHHHH. So there i was, standing up, eyes closed, water gushing out of the shower head in slow motion (yes, i swear it was), pulling my hair back. And this grand-ass music starts playing. E.P.I.C. shower right there bitchez.

Also, just then, i went and asked my bro some questions...okay i'd have to admit they were pretty irrelevant and stupid. But that ass hole of a bro punched me out of his room. (LOL not like punched me and i flew all the way to the other side of the house...haa.haa. but slowly punched me bit by bit so that i'd move out of his room...all the way to the kitchen.) THEN. He closed the kitchen doors on me and was like "Go back to your habitat" ............................................. assfaggot of a bastard. Okay yeah, i'd have to say that was pretty funny. Deserves a l.o.l.

OHH AND HAPPY OCTOBER!! "Goodbye September" and "Hello October" were trending on twitter. Tweeters are sahhhhhh cool. Bye betchez.

~heelorli

Su, shi's cool

LOLSKIES MY TITLESKIES IS SO COOLSKIES.

Geddit?.......so, she's cool.....but sushi.........gosh a joke's not funny when you have to explain it. That's the only rule i live by. life-changing rule, i know. I did title it sushi for a reason. And the reason is..................wait for it.........ihopeyou'vebeenwatchingasmuchHIMYMasihavebecausethesecondpartofthesentencedoesn'tevenmakesenseandihavenoideawhati'mtypingandican'tevenseewhati'mtypingcauseit'sofftheboxthing

Where was I? Oh right, cause...i...made....SUSHI! Yay! Yay? Nay. Second rule. If you want to enjoy sushi as much as you do now, NEVER make sushi at home...unless catering for like a party or some shiz. Explanation:

1) I'm craving sushi. I will make sushi tomorrow (voice in my head yesterday...actually i think i said it out loud)

2) Go shopping for sushi ingredients.

3) Get home, make sushi.

4) Whilst making them, eat 389234759304 pieces of sushi.

5) Just before dinner time, eat a couple thousand more.

6) Dinner time, omgshkies more sushi?!?!

7) Sushi left over - tomorrow's breakfast, lunch and dinner.

sushizzle man i don't think i'll be eating sushi for the next few.................hundred......years. lol jokes, breakfast tomorrow. Wow how many times have i said 'sushi' in this post? Man even my hands smell like sushi.

OHHHHHHHHHHHH and i think in one of my previous posts, i said something about work...and how i always found it disgusting and shizzle, but on my last day, i knew i would miss the oiliness of the chicken, seeing the block of fat that needed to be put INTO the machine...rather than what i mistakenly thought was the waste product, the morning routines of opening up - mopping the floor, putting the chairs down, counting the register...placing the chips in a huge-ass pool of pure, delicious, oily oil. Awwwww, i miss those days...and that, my friends, is called GRADUATION GOGGLES - true story - HIMYM references are bombarding my post...positively. Positively bombarding my post. LOL wtf.

Oh also, i've been visiting this site - tasteofawesome.com because i have a life....okay what, no. i shouldn't be ashamed of visiting this site. This site is actually awesome. (hence the name. haa.haa) and just cause i go on the comp looking at pics (NO IT'S NOT PORN...i know what ya'll are thinking betchezzzz ;) for which people make captions it does not mean i have no life. And that is also why i do maths in the holidays (haha feeling guilty? LOL jokes....but also not a joke.) and i spend fricking 3 hrs practising for my piano exam because i barely practised during school time and OMG HOLIDAYS ARE FKING DRIVING ME INSANE. THEY'RE EVEN FKING WORSE THAN SCHOOL OMGSKIES I WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL.

Okay jokes. i don't actually want to go back to school...yet. Just give me a week and a half (haa haa cause i get what i want) and i'll be ready to go back to school. Lol not that i have a choice to go whether or not i feel like it. I totes know what i'm saying...cause i'm sayin'...sayn...sane. :D

Alright, time to go........PARTY!!! WOOOO jokes. Back to piano general knowledge. GK WoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo LOL they look like bubbles......

~heelorli

Heart of Lolness

Okay i'm gonna make this one real quick.

So i was going through moodle for group work responses on Heart of Darkness. I went through a few documents and i'm like wowww these are good notes (cause they were all deep and literally literacy literal liter...no.)

Then i came across my group's response. I opened the document and it didn't even have the question typed out. It only had "Q1, Q2, Q3" ...etc. But the most fking hilarious part was the answer to the first question.

"Q1

The passage evokes a feeling of confusion and confuzzlement."

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA so. fricking. deep.

Study harddd bitchezzzzzz ;)

~heelorli

Super powers

Wow okay today has been so damn emotional. I really don't think im PMSing either. It's just been a mixture of some news that i will not disclose for the privacy of and respect for the person involved. Lol...yes, terms and conditions do apply.

But that plus this thing that just happened. So i was hugging my mum cause i felt a burst of love for her. LOL this is sounding so homo...like gay...like nooby. ==" not lesbo. because...she's my mum.....okayy...this is so awks. anyway, i was hugging her right, and i was squishing her face cause she's so cuteee :D When i finished squishing her cheeks, i pushed her away. HOLY MOTHERSHIZ (lol "mother"shiz.) I DID NOT REALISE HOW FKING STRONG I AM. i TOTALLY BY ACCIDENT pushed her into this shelf thing and all these CDs and photo frames and everything came toppling down and i was so scared cause i thought she was gonna die or something (touch wood). Then my mum was like "wtfffffffff" and i was just standing there in shock. Seconds later, i started crying and hugging her again. That would have to be the weirdest 5 minutes of my life.

i swear i'm mentally stable. So. damn. stable.

And lately, i think i've been really violent on some people. I really need to tone down these guns. Getting too fit...LOLLL JOKESSSSSS i just need to tone down my eight-pack.

HAAAHAAAA jokes again!!! man i'm too funny.

Alright, alright. Back to drama-ing. LOL JOKES notes- making. I really want McVitie's digestive biscuits. Oh also coincidence much - on friday kylie was asking for suggestions about..crap i just realised the person has me as a friend on bloggah and this is supposed to be a surprise. well about this thing that they will receive and that kylie will do something to. aka, make. so i was like "this person likes McVitie's biscuits so put that in there!"...and coincidentally, my mum (LOL yes the one i pushed violently........==" yeah no shit. i only have one mum.) bought McVitie's digestive biscuits this morning. WHICH SUCKS CAUSE I CAN'T EAT IT DUE TO 40 HR FAMINE. WHICH ALSO SUCKS CAUSE I HAD TO RESTART AFTER GOING 16 HRS IN CAUSE I HAD A PIANO CONCERT. Far out and my mum bought fricking moon cakes this morning...when for the past few weeks, there was nothing in the pantry. Nothing edible that didn't require cooking. LOL wow that was confusing. Suck it up ==".

Alright, alright, back to work...is what i said 5 mins ago. But alright, alright, fur reals back to work is what i will do.....NOW.

I swear i'm not fked in the head guys........i swear.......

~heelorli

s0 Cl@$$y

Prunes - a brilliant source of natural fibre. Yeah, they are a BRILLIANT source of natural fibre. In fact so brilliant that i do not recommend eating more than 10 at once or you will experience some discomfort. Also, some other very fibrous foods, which, from personal experience, i do not recommend eating all at once - oats, yoghurt, prunes. Man they give you the biggest-ass fibre shot that you'll ever need and you'll end up hours on the toi....wow i don't think this blog can get any classier.

Talking about classy, i have been feeling very classy. I am currently reading brilliant poetry, while simultaneously listening to classical mozart sonatas, tchaikovsky pieces from his spectacular suite "The Seasons" and of course the epitome of Impressionism - Debussy's Arabesques.

LOL JOKES. Poetry is for English and music is for piano. Both of which i am forced to do. I guess i'm really not that classy. :(

Alright that's my 5 mintues of freedom. I'm going back, back back to work. DAYUM I FREAKING QUOTED A POEM - LOOK WHO'S CLASSY NOW BITCHEZZZZZ. Lol the IRONy. haahaa cause feminism....and shiz....iron...y....okay i think youzzz get it.

Boi boi.

~heelorli

Humpback Whale

So today i publicly dry humped the water (or should i say, 'wet' humped ;)......... lol jokes. i was doing butterfly kick with a kickboard. Well it might as well have been humping the water cause that's what it felt like. So dayum awkies man. hahaha i won't go into deets about what exactly i was doing because it will probably sound R rated. Okay let me try. Because i love challenges betches. So i had my arms stretched, grabbing onto the board with my dear life, fingers wrapped around the very top edge. My boday was stretched as i thrust ....okay no this is reaching MA+. lulz. but you get the idea. please don't imagine it either. that'd be weird. Actually it's probs be too late. Shiat moving on...to the next topic.............................gahhhhh this post is getting so awkies.

So on freitag (yes i'm German betchezzz) Mr. Burlehhh (as Lav would say hahahhaha) announced that he would be going on long-service leave from the end of this term till next year term 3. WHICH MEANS HE WON'T BE TEACHING US FOR YEAR 12!!! I feel so bad for raging at him even though it clearly wasn't my fault he got angry....totes not my fault. We just regained our fricking rep and now we need to go through this whole cycle again with some other teacherrr?!?!?!? our game plan had just started to kick in. (lol this joke would totes work if we were a soccer team). BUT NUUUUU sure, we said our aim was to get him to retire. Sure we wanted really badly to get rid of him as a teacher. But we didn't realise we were THAT influential. (seriously guys, Forbes' Top 100 Most Influential candidate right here) and him - THAT obedient. (lol this is funny because in my raging post, i said something about me being obedient or some shiz) Even the sky was crying for us. In fact, the sky was crying for us for the whole week. Maybs the weather this past week had been an omen leading up to freitag's "devz forevz" announcement. ooft. So anyway, relating back to HIMYM, they had a theory which was extremely accurate. Shiat i love HIMYM. It actually has better life teachings/ theories than......some other philosophical books that i cannot think of at the moment......................So there was that ep where Marshall hated his job so much he decided to quit. But on the last day, he realised how much he would miss everything and he started to like being there. And same shiz with Robin. She was going out with this dude, i think? and she was going to break up with him except just before the break up, she realised how much she was.....going...to.....gosh this is getting so emotional...........................miss him............ *wails in a corner* *sniffs* *wipes away a tear* *blows fricking nose like a fricking elephant making that retarded noise which now reminds me of an elephant giving birth - search up on youtube because there's a video where a preggaz elephant plops this babeh elephant out.....along with a shitload of placenta juice and all this fluid that flows out of the elephant's womb like a fricking waterfall.*. So pretty much this is the period the whole class except for Jha Jha Binks is going through. (LULZ I TOTES MEAN THE ELEPHANT PREGNANCY HAHAHHAHAHA NO.==") Jha was fricking lhao (laughing her ass off HAHAHAHAA LAUGHING HAO!!! okay it's not that funny.) while he was announcing it. Stewbut woman.

Okay enough talk about animals. Bye.

Fricking Phone Companies

I totally forgot about why i came on to blog tonight.

It's cause of fking phone companies that don't tell you accurately how much internet you have fricking used in one month and you end up paying $2940.39 at the end of the fking month on top of your $49 stupid cap plan. Lol jokes it was only $56 on top of the $49. STILL. FOOK YOU THREE/VODAFONE. I bet it's cause they merged, and now three thinks it's top shit so they can inaccurately update your internet usage. Fking hell find some other way into making profit instead of leeching money off awesome, non-stupid people who watch how much they spend.

So pretty much i walked home today, went to the mailbox and saw the phone bill. My heart start pounding because i kind of knew i used too much internet this/ last month. But i only thought it would be like $10 extra or some shiz. BUT NO. FKING THREE/VODAFKINGFONE LIKES TO IMMORALLY TRICK PEOPLE BY CHARGING THEM FKING $348059483 PER FKING MEGABYTE. GAHHHHHHH So with my heart skipping many beats and me pretty much hyperventilating (yes it is way more stressful than school reports) i opened the soggy envelope. I quickly leafed through the unnecessary-but-probably-necessary-in-the-future-records-of-phone-calls-for-each-person-which-not-only-is-a-waste-of-paper-but-it-is-really-trippy-because-it's-just-pages-and-pages-of-numbers-almost-like-the-betting-section-in-the-newspaper-not-that-i-bet-on-horses-or-anything-of-course..........and i got to my page. I scanned down and HOLY MOTHERSHIZZ A HUNDRED AND FIVE FRICKING BUCKS WAS MY TOTAL. but it's okay i've had worse. I had a 300 hundred dollar bill once. Not that i'm proud of it. I'm just saying to make myself feel better this time round. And to think that people learn from their mistakes. what a joke. But yeah, i'm hiding the bill under my laptop until i get a fifty dollar note from the atm and give it to them so that they don't start blasting verbal shit at me. LOL jokes how disrespectful of me. I was meant to say - so they don't start highlighting my mistakes and constructively teach me how to live my life...out of parental love. Lol.

Fur realz. Good bye good bye good bye good bye put a smile on your diiiial! Yeahno. Bye.

~heelorli

Just for Laughs

Today was a funny day. From the very beginning. I woke up at 6:15 to try and finish "God of Small Things" It's a good book. I just can't seem to stay awake at 6:15 in the morning. And i think it's also because i put my book lower than my head (LOL like any normal reader does) but i'm also lying down, which then makes my eyelids half-closed anyway so i'm pretty much reading with my eyes closed. Anyway, i read a chapter and went back to sleep. But i don't remember what the chapter was about. What a bummer. What was more of a bummer this morning, was that i missed the express. BUT THEN. (OOFT CHANGE OF TONE HERE.) As i was standing at the top of the stairs on platform 9 & 3/4. Lol jokes. platform 3 of eastwood station, i heard a "HILARY!!! YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME!!! I'M RUNNING UP THERE TO EXPERIENCE YOUR AWESOMENESS!!!!" Or something along those lines. So i looked down. And there, a young, excited, 15 year-old (though not for long ;) girl raced up those stairs to greet me. So i was like "sup dewd". Then began the most wtf 30 minutes of my life. Pretty much, Jess would tell me a "cool" story...though the only thing i thought cool was the weather. (AHAAA.HAA.) So an example of her cool story. Yesterday, she got on the bus and the bus driver was driving very fast. In the dark. Was there something else to it...? Like maybe a point? Oh right. Nup. That's the whole story. LOL but it was extremely entertaining watching her laugh at her own stories.

Also. Today Arun brought up something about the chem quiz. And i mildly pissed off that we haven't even learnt anything this term so i expressed this mild level of pissed offness and was like "WHAT!?! WE HAVEN'T EVEN LEARNT ANYTHING! LIKE I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT WE LEARNT TODAY!!!" Then lav was like "Yeah cause we didn't have chem today." LOL oops.

Which reminds me. I need to do chem hw. BUT RECENTLY fb groups have a been so fricking hilarious. e.g. "being such a good cook that even the smoke alarm is cheering you on." and all the harry potter ones. Which would be funnier if i actually kept up with it. i.e. read them, watched the movies. okay i'm too sleepy to continue. lol ill just leave it here. let's call it a day. i'm gonna start using that more frequently because i'm duh kewl laik daat betchez.

but while i'm still awake, if ya'll take away anything from this post (because all my posts have life-changing things to take away from...) let it be this.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/iPhone-Autocorrect-Making-friendships-awkward-since-2007/146824412053724

the pics are the funniest shiz.

Thank you and good night. Until tomorrow, have a nice evening. This is deborah knight and you're watching ten news at 5. May the force be with you. \\V// (LOL it's the "V" thing with your hands...that's from star wards right? Wait, "may the force be with you" is star wars right...or is it star trek? Damn these sci-fi movies.)

~heelorli

Sup dewds

I wish i lived back in the cavemen period. Yeah...back in those days. Remember when the purpose of life was to catch fish with a spear, kill cows with a...spear?, pick berries off the berry trees, dig out witchety grubs....wait this is a description of Aboriginals. Except for the cows bit. Because i'm guessing there were no cows. Until the British came. And brought cows. Haha i remember this girl in primary who used to be obsessed with cows......

Let me try again.

Remember those days when the purpose of li...no. We weren't fking born back then, so no. No one fricking remembers. Okay so the point of this was to say how simple life was...back in those days. Markets= swapping some silver pieces of jagged...silver for a pig. Or swapping gold pieces of gold for some vegetables. No idea in what world vegetables are cheaper than a pig. But yeah. Swapping shiz with shiz. Tangible shiz with tangible shiz. Now we're swapping words with words and peeps go broke and depressed and suicide because of it. Yes, i'm talking about the derivative market. (Ooft) LOL no i havent fully tabouli read my eco txtbook but what i remember from reading it in class was that pretty much, people buy prospective shmizzle. Like if the soil is fertile one year, people are gonna buy shitloads of wheat...NO. NOT TANGIBLE WHEAT. Wheat on a document. Wheat on a piece of paper. (hopefully recycled..hahhahano.) This world is getting too complicated for me :(

JOKES I CAN HANDLE IT. The real question is...Can the world handle me? haha. haha. Yeah i can't wait to go to da snoweez.

Also. Yesterday, i went grocery shopping with my mum after she returned from work (which was like at 4 and it was fking freeeeeeeeeezing). We went to the beautiful, pristine, peaceful suburb of Eastwood to buy fish. When she came out of the fishmonger (hahah i lubB dat wurd) she gave the fish for me to hold. So then we were walking until we reached the fountain with totally drinkable water because it's so clean. Then suddenly, i don't know what it was...maybe the clean water, the fish fking flapped. IT WAS SO SOSOSOSOSOOSOSOSOSOOOOO GROSS. EW EW EW just thinking about it makes me shiver. So then i quickly gave the fish back to my mum. Lol i should've let it free in the fountain so that when a kid came along, they'd have been scared shitless. hahahahhaa jokes man. I looovvvvvee kids ;) ;) ;) hahha no.

My hands too cold to type. G.o..o.d.by.......e.

Wutt da hewww. Okay bye.

~heelorli

Selin' a shin pad

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful, young girl. She was a strange one, this girl. Nay, she did not comb her long black hair, pin it into a bun with chopsticks, wash herself in a wooden bucket. Nay, she did not fall for the knight in shining armour who had been wooing her for days and days. Nay, she did not gracefully sit herself on an old, oak chair and complete her embroidery. Nay she did not take a sparkling, Waterford glass and sip her prestigious 1889 shiraz. Nay did she gleefully test the flavours from her bubbling pot of broth. Nay did she keep her husband company while they dined at the grand table.

All she did was sell her damn shin pads, whilst eating her rotten star-shaped eggs.

You're welcome for the dedication Sel :D

~heelorli

Sashimi

Gosh, i wish i could have something else for dinner...apart from this, which i have EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Jokes

HAHAHHAHA so on fb, there's this group "i have short term memory loss. LOL jk. I have short term memory loss." HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that's so simple yet so funny!!!! Just realised i've been talking about fb groups A LOT recently...yeah i think i've lost my originality in my jokes. :( DUDE I KNOW WHY. IT'S BECAUSE I HAVENT BEEN WATCHING HIMYM. no wonder i've been feeling down and my jokes are so crap. Like fur real friendzz HIMYM affects my mood. It's quite literally my drug. (reference to Robin who keeps using "literally" in the non-literal literature of the literal liters.) right................... anyway.

Jokes. Yeah betches, i have a theory on the life-cycle of a joke. Wow i actually have heaps to talk about under this title...usually i just pick a word that's got something to do with one of the shizzle that i explore in my extremely educated, informative and fair discussions. They're brilliant! No. LOL to show how immature i am, today in eco, Jess and i went onto smh, initially in the hope to find info for our eco research. I searched up.....something...that i forgot and there was this article titled "Abbott's Ascendency". Not that the title appealed to me or anything, i clicked on it and quite literally [LITERALLY MEANS LITERALLY HERE] scanned through the thing. Then this phrase caught our asian eyes. "There is an elephant in the room." HAHAHAHHAHAH we didn't even read the content it was in and we started laughing har har har about it. Then we decided to put a "funny" [funny is in quotation marks because sense of humours come in different shapes and sizes. but mine's the biggest. haahaa that totally did not sound wrong. Wow i am so tired. and i'm wearing a thermal which is making me really air-headed and hot. That also totally did not sound wrong. It actually didn't. But I meant my face is heating up. I'm not wrong about that ;) LULZZZZZ but no srsly, thermals are so weird. They're like plastic but breathable. So i'm pretty much wearing glad wrap. But it's really warm. When i first wore it (CRAP WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY SPELLING. WHEN I TYPED 'WORE' I TYPED 'WAR'.) i felt fricking "fearless" yeah dudes i'm in the mome. (new word for moment). this post is all over the place. It's like a tangent on a tangent on a tangent. Fricking like 2nd and 3rd derivatives. LOL jokes i don't even know if that's what they are. If i'm right, WOOT. If not, BOOT. Okay....... yeah so i was pretty much wearing just the thermal thing and a t-shirt on top because i thought the thermal itself could stand the 2 degree cold.] comment...huh? i've lost it....NOPE I'VE FOUND IT. so "funny" comment. It was funny because everyone else had these intellectual, educated comments arguing for or against "Abbott's ascendancy" because the coalition with the bilateral party (woo! party!) is working to bail the economy out of the deficit. Lol jokes. But that actually made sense. Would have been better if i got my facts right.... So yeah the comments were like...wayyy up there, and so we thought it would be funny to put "Get the elephant out of the room. Ha! Abbott, what a joke!" LOOLLLLLLLLLL only to realise at recess, the "elephant in the room" was referring to awkiessness in da house. LOL (tension bruddas, for those of youzzz who aren't in the mome.) See, this new word is taking off quite well ;)

Oh and ***NEWSFLASH*** haha that word was sooo early 2000s. But recently found out that characters from Winnie-the-Pooh represent the seven deadly sins.

Pooh- Gluttony
Tigger- Pride
Gopher- Wrath
Rabbit- Greed
Piglet- Envy
Eeyore- Sloth
Kanga and Roo- Lust (LOLLLL NOT BETWEEN THEM THOUGH...HAHAH MUM AND KID?? AWKIES...BUT APPARENTLY THE FACT THAT KANGA HAD ROO = SEX)

AND HAHAHAHHAHA I FOUND THIS AS WELL - THE MENTAL DISORDERS THAT EACH CHARACTER REPRESENTS!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAH

Winnie the Pooh -- eating disorder

Piglet -- general anxiety disorder

Rabbit -- OCD

Tigger -- ADHD, possible substance abuse

Eeyore -- Major Depressive/Manic Depressive

Christopher Robin -- schizophrenic

Kanga/Roo -- Codependent

Owl -- Narcissistic (?)

FKING LOL AT TIGGER AND WINNIE-THE-POOH!!! HAHAHHAHHAH

ANYWAY like gottta go braddas. Have a good day. Not a great one. Not a fantastic one. Not a brilliant one. Just a good one.

LOL jokes have a spectacular day betchesss.... Yeah i'm also wondering what i'm on about. Yeah okay bye.

~heelorli

Just Irrational.

Okay the anger and rage (lol there's always a 'rage' in 'anger') about today's ridiculously WTF event has left me. OR SO I THINK IT DID. Now that i think back, my insides are firing up like vegetables in a wok. (lol pathetic attempt at using a simile)

BUT FAR OUT THAT MOTHERFKING DICKHEAD IS AS ANAL AS AN ANUS. So what happened today was something so unnecessary. Since i have no rage in me right now, i will simply unbiasedly recount the events in detail...and since i am a very fair person (unlike Othello...lol okay no that's just racist, bitch.) I will provide the two sides of the story to show that i may have been at some fault.

My side of the story:

It's 9am and i get to maths. I sit down and start chatting sensibly and non-disruptively to Arunthethy. Then comes the big yeti. Stomping in with his permanent angry face. He sits down and asks "finished your work stupid bitches?" and no one answered, so he's like "ceebs to teach. Just...uh......do your homework." So i'm like okay, i won't say i finished my work because i don't want to seem like a smart ass. So then i whisper something extremely important about my new-found theory about how certain phenomena have a technical optimum. Then he goes "blahblahblah you should be working not talking. Go take THAT SPECIFIC DESK. NO, NOT THE ONE YOU'RE SITTING AT, NOR THE ONE NEXT TO SENALI. THAT SPECIFIC FKING DESK AND STARE AT THE FKING WALL BECAUSE I'M BORED AS FK." So i'm like "i'll be quiet and be a submissive fking woman." But he wouldn't accept it.

"Fk no. You're stupid and a woman and Choinese so i will do whatever i like. Go sit in that fking corner and face the fking wall and do nothing." So i end up moving THAT specific fking desk actually facing the fucking wall looking like some retarded fk. As i'm sitting there quietly, obediently, i take out my economics book because he actually said that I'm just gonna sit there and stare at the wall. As i'm flipping through my eco book, that giant yeti who belongs in the fking snow stomps into the room a second time, snatches my eco book away and plants this retarded maths in focus book in front of me. WHAT THE FKKKK?!?!?!?!?!?? You fking irrational muddaabetttchhhhhh. So then i express my tears of what-the-fkness which i totally shouldn't have because i just showed a sign of weakness, making him think he's even more of a top shit.

Stupid yeti's side of the stupid story:

Hmm...today's such a rainy day. It makes me feel so devos. Maybe i should be angry and irrational today. Let me stomp into this room to show that i'm angry. Hmmmmm...who should i yell at. Game time! The first person to speak gets owned. ALRIGHT! It's that stupid Chinese girl next to the black girl (lol sorry arun). What should i tell her off about...... Oh i know! She's finished her work! I'll tell her off for that because i'm irrational and angry and manopausing so i can be excused for acting like a douche. I'll just get her to move her seat away from the brown girl because i support segregation and i hate this multiculturalism shit and i'm just fking irrational. I'll also tell her to just stare at the fking wall so that i'm not the only one staring at the wall like a retard. Hm....i want to confuse the fk out of her. I'll say that she can just sit there and not do anything but give her fking maths to do. Hey, she's trying to make use of her time! Let me irrationally snatch that eco book away from her!

OKAY NOW I'M ACTUALLY FKING FIRED UP. I WAS AT NO FAULT WHATSOEVER!!!!!! I DIDN'T EVEN MENTION THE BIT WHERE I MOVED MY DESK BACK AND TRIED TO SIT NEXT TO SENALI AND HE'S FKING LIKE "CAN'T YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND MY SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS?!?!?" FK NO, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR STUPID IRRATIONALITY. IRRATIONAL DOESN'T EVEN ADEQUATELY DESCRIBE YOUR FKING ANALNESS OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOGM I ACTUALLY HATE HIM!!!!!!!! JUST ONE AND A HALF MORE YEARS...........ONE AND A HALF MORE FKING YEARS. FARK FARK FARK FARK FARKKKKKKK THE MORE I THINK ABOUT IT THE MORE DOUCHEY HE GETS! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HE'S SO DOUCHEY THAT BEING DOUCHEY IS A GOOD THING. NOW I'M DEFS NOT TAKING MY PARENTS TO SEE YOU...NOT THAT I WAS PLANNING TO ANYWAY. BECAUSE YOU'RE FKING DOUCHE MCDOUCHEDOUCHE. AND YOU KEEP THREATENING US ABOUT PARENT/TEACHER INTERVIEW. LIKE OFRICKING MG LIKE THAT'S GONNA DO ANYTHING.

I PROBABLY SOUND EXTREMELY STUBBORN RIGHT NOW BUT FK IRRATIONALITY IS EVEN MORE STUPID.

On a lighter note...oh wait, what lighter note? I got busted in eco and chem as well. FARK THIS SHIZ.

I WILL REBEL AGAINST THIS SCREWED UP SYSTEM. I AM GOING TO PROTEST. HOW AM I GOING TO PROTEST? I WILL CHALLENGE MYSELF TO NOT GET BUSTED AT ALL TOMORROW. (lol really? Great rebellion. Round of applause.) But seriously, i'm on this being-owned streak and i've gotta end it because they're doing reports now. It's probs too late anyway....... BUT it may not be. Who knows......who knows...........................................................

Goodbye. On this devos day...otherwise known as...D-Day.

~heelorli

Calc.

Why does everything keep leaving me? What have i done to deserve this? A part of me is missing...and i want it back. Now.

The good times we had together...solving the problems that others created for us, making the negative situations positive, clearing the bad memories i had and creating new ones for me. You were the one who taught me how many ways a situation could be seen. You taught me there was more than one way to Choose to live. You taught me the direction in which to walk. You were the one who taught me that there was more than one solution in life.

Calculator...i miss you.

SO FARK I LOST MY CALCULATOR AND NOW I CAN'T DO MY FKING SON-OF-A-MOUNTEVEREST -BITCH PILE OF MATHS HOMEWORK. LOL jokes i'm not really that pissed. I'm actually quite happy...gives me one more day to chill after examination(s). LOL yeah brads, extension reference right there ;) Hopefully i'll find it at school tomorrow.....or else i'll kind of have too many days to illchayz. Haa.haa. dammit that word is seriously stuck in my head. Thanks Jha Jha Binks...HAHAHAH which reminds me, the other day at the library, we were discussing jersey names. Seeing Maansi will POSITIVELY, ABSOLUTE VALUELY put "Jha Jha Binks" on her jersey, and no one had actually seen star wars, we decided to look up "Jaja binks". The result:

MAJOR FKING LOL DOESN'T EVEN DESCRIBE THE EXTENT OF FKING LOLNESS HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH AND THE POSE LOOKS LIKE IT'S DOING THAT SLEAZY GUN THING WHERE YOU DO THAT "CLICK" WITH YOUR TONGUE AND ROOF OF MOUTH. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA IT'S FKING EYES ARE LIKE SHIZASS FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!

So yeah everytime i see that, i just lol.

JOKES. I HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHALOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLMAAAAAAAAOOOOOOORORRRRRROFFFFLLLLLLLLBITCHEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!

Anyway, going to watch angry boyz because i have no calc to do my maths.

like, latorrrsss!

(haa.haa geddit? it's continued from the title ;)

~heelorli

Gone are the Days...

I guess what they say is true. You never really realise the value of something until it's lost. And now i've lost it. My sanity.

LOL JOKES. It's exams.

LOL EVEN MORE MAJOR JOKES.

But actually the exam period was fun. It's okay bros...don't despair, for we still have yearlies!!! haa.haa. no.

Okay so funny story. Yesterday, Jess and i went to Eastwood library to wait for her bus. When we walked in, there were two large bucket/tub things. One of them had a blue laminated sign with a picture of an umbrella and the tears of the sky. (lol yes, that's right bitchez, tears of the sky) LOL HEY THAT TOTALLY WORKS! The blue paper = sky except the black tears don't work.....oooh wait that's soooo deep. Black tears despite the bright blue sky...black fking tears. Shiat. So yeah, one had a blue sign (which was a sign...that...it...was...raining? Haha you get the pun.) and the other had a blue bin liner. Omgsh what's with blue? Alrighty LOLLL HAHAHAHHAH THIS REMINDS ME OF A TEXT I SENT TO SELINA. I FKING MEANT ALRIGHTY RIGHT, AND FRICKING AUTOCORRECT CHANGED IT TO ALMIGHTY AHAHHAHAHAHHAAH but it fit the context anyway since i said "almighty thanks" LOLLLLL dayum i was grateful. So basically, there were two tall buckets, and there was 1 umbrella in the umbrella tub....and like 5 fricking umbrellas in the fricking bin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH WHY WAS EVERYONE CHUCKING THEIR UMBRELLAS IN THE BIN?!?!?!? IT WAS FRICKING RAINING OUTSIDE!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAHAHAAHA

LOLLLLLLLL FRICKING STUPID PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh yeah, and i have another invention. Actually, i've had so many inventions that i haven't introduced due to the long-gone exams. Lol jokes, it's been 8 hours. Okay so there's the iCamera. LOL LITERALLY EYE-CAMERA. I'm sure people have thought of it and shiz but clearly people are too lazy. That's why, I'M going to design and engineer the first and most hi-tech...iCamera. This handy device is drilled and fricking wired to your fricking brain, which will then be clipped onto to your fragile little eyes. Then using the haemoglobicanaemicirondeficient pasteurisation of the cranium, my team will use specially designed equipment to Opthanoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosicise the customer's eyes and enable the function to take high definition, microscopic pixelled- images of the wondrous world ahead of them with a blink of the eyes. These images can then be imported onto a personal computer, notebook or mac simply by placing the transparent MC40.7 onto your tongue. Once in position, the electrolytes and enzymes from your saliva will activate the motherboard of the MC40.7 and stimulate the brain, which will transfer the images to the MC40.7 via the complex wiring system. SOOOOO SIMPO!

Also invention #2: inspired by cbf, the digital shower tap.

Are you sick of turning your wrist, simply to let the hot water out? Are you tired of doing the same to the other one, just to let the cold water out? Do you really want to adjust the temperature every single time? Do you want to stop snapping your wrists from turning taps? Well do not fear! For the Digitap is here! The Digitap 6000 is the latest and most futuristic household item demanded by trillions of materialistic, lazy-ass consumers today! With the tap of a touch screen, waterproof button, you can enjoy the pleasures of a warm, relaxing shower without spraining your wrists! The 39" touch screen allows you not only have a shower, but also watch movies, listen to music and memorise notes ALL IN THE MIDST OF HAVING A SHOWER! The digitap uses the latest memory card, the MC40.8 to store the temperature at which each user desires. Everytime you take a shower, touch your user, and the water will automatically flow onto your body, giving you a cubicle of heaven.

Functions:

- timer (for kids to stop the Australian drought that's been going on for way too long and people just wanna use water fricking freely...which is ironic because if peeps do, then the drought will return.)

- temperature memory

- intensity at which the water falls onto you

- fingerprint security

Get yours today by calling 1800 30294809482987463, or SNAP YOUR FKING WRISTS OFF.

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL this is totally a result of nothing to do. But the second invention could totally work...it'd actually be really handy. Actually, so would the first one. DAYUM i'm gonna create these!!!

someday.......when i have free time........................which is totally not now..........................................which is why i'm totally not going to watch angry boys now......................................................................................................................................

~heelorli

Beautiful Things in my Life...

Harloooooo!!! Today we met up for SRC planning day at a v. beautiful park. WAH...yes it is! ROO (no there weren't any roos) GAAHH!!! IT WAS SO PRETTY! (lol you see what i did there? ;) So we planned for SW, blah blah blah hahajokes, BUT THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY WAS....wait for it......A DOG IN A HAT!!! IT WAS THE FKING CUTEST DOGGY IN A HAT EVER!!! Coz it wasn't like one of those fobby dog outfits which is supposed to make them cute...which then uncutifies them instead...WHICH REMINDS ME, i don't know if i've said this, but in hong kong, i saw this dog in a dog fricking pram. WHAT THE FRICKING SHIT BRO. AND NOT ONLY THAT, THE FRICKING DOG WAS WEARING SHOES. SERIOUSLY DOUBLE WHAT THE FRICKING SHIT. (yes that was swear-worthy). It's even worse than when this chinese kid in a pram was chucking a tanty...how did his mother silence him? SHE FRICKING GAVE HIM HER MUZZAFRICKING IPHONE. HE'S ONLY LIKE 2-3 YEARS OLD AND YOU'RE FEEDING HIM HIS PREMATURE GAMING FRENZY. WHAT THE SHIZZLE BRO? (no that was not swear-worthy). So back to the cute-ass doggy :D (yeah i say doggy, bitchez, instead of dog because it adds to the cuteness of the dog...gy) So he/she was wearing this little dark green postman's cap, and it was like a little pug. Unfortunately, no onegot to take a picture of it coz we were all frozen by its cuteness. and i think i'm saying the word 'cute' way too much. So let me find pics similiar to what the dog looked like.

so on his little head, was...

which made him look like this :D HOW FRICKING CUTE IS HE!?!?!?!?

and it was trying to keep up with its owners so it was kinda running with its adorable stubby legs!!!! FRICK THAT WAS SOOOOO CUTE!!!!! And that picture of the pug took me quite a while to pick coz shiat man all the pics were fricking f;lksdnfdeifjeifzomgshcrazyasscute!!!! And LOL random fact...whenever i see something like SUPER SUPER cute (e.g. the pics of the pugs) my mouth starts producing excessive saliva...it's normal right.......?

So yeah, that was the highlight of my day...as well as looking up pics of pugs...like, lol jokes man..................................... i'm not that lame....................................awkward.......................................................

Moving on from those cute little pugs...which look like half pigs and half dogs...WHICH EXPLAINS THE NAME PUG. pig-dog...TOOOOTALLY MAKES SENSE NOW!! Haha so i was going through the pics of pugs right, and i came across this pic:

WHICH IS EQUALLY AS SHIVER-WORTHY OF THIS PIC:

Yes, the ultimate sphynx cat. BUT HAIRLESS PUG WINS SPHYNX CAT ANY DAY COZ IT'S A DOG.

Wow going through those sphynx cat photos just dried up all my saliva.

ANYWAY, ACTUALLY moving on from those pugs and aliens...WHICH REMINDS ME of that alien that was dropped off in Russia a few days ago...looked exactly like that sphynx cat...except it looked kinda bruised and shiz... and man it was disgusting.

Lol actually, i have nothing else to move onto...

Okay bye.

~heelorli

Just doing some endorsing

Haroooooooo okay just voluntarily endorsing a few things (although i tooootally should get paid for this).

Egg facials. WOW they actually...probably work! I got this off Michelle Phan (endorsement #1). So basically you get an egg, separate the white from the yolk, whisk the white, shove it in the oven and BING! YOU'RE DONE. Lol. no....that's how you make a meringue. OKAY SO VERRRRRRY SIMPO. It's basically what i said. Just don't fricking shove it in the oven. First step: smear the whisked egg white on your face. NOTE this facial kinda stinks...mainly stinks up your bathroom more than your face....no actually they stink the same. But it's okay, it's just egg. OH AND NOT A GOOD IDEA IF YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO EGG...for slightly obvious reasons....................................alright! That would've been the safety audit in a scientific experiment, and i would've gotten marks deducted coz i didn't write that first and a teacher would probs say "it would'nt be very helpful if you wrote that at the end would it?" and i'd be like "piss of mate" and they'd be like wtshizzle brah. okay that made no sense coz a) i didn't even write it at the end and b) this isn't a scientific experiment brudda.

So yeah smear it on your face, then wait for it to dry and then wash it of with "lukewarm" water. Lol what's with that word anyway? Lukewarm. I would like to know how that word came to be. In fact, i will search it up right away.

Lukewarm is a compound adjective based on the now obsolete MiddleEnglish luke ‘tepid’.

ah.....totes get it now. ANYWAY. Then you smear on the egg yolk and leave it on until it becomes like all hard and shiz and then lukewarm water it off!

Then your face should feel and look awesome!

ALSO showers. I hate it when you tell people not to use your awesome herbal essences shampoo and conditioner (endorsement #2) coz it's especially made for awesome long hair and then people with short-ass hair use it anyway and they say "ohhh but i only use this little" but, stupid one, this little bit accumulates to this much (hand gesture)...............................is what a crazyass selfish biatch would say.

Just a straight out endorsement (#3) biore is an awesome brand for facial wash.

HIMYM TIME!!!!!! (endorsement #4)THE FRICKING LATEST EPISODE IS FRICKING HILARIOUS I DON'T THINK LOL, ROFL, LMAO, ROFLCOPTER, LMFAO, HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA, LULZ, ZOMGASH LULZ, FRICKING LOOOOLL CAN DESCRIBE IT. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE PART WHERE THEY DECIDE ON WHICH STRIP CLUB TO GO TO. HAHAHAHAHAH THIS IS S6 EP 21 BTW AND ZOMGASH I WOULD TOTALLY PUT THE VID UP HERE BUT YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANNA GET FINED/ SUED FOR COPYRIGHT LAWS THEN THERE'D BE TORTS, AFFIDAVITS, SUMMONS TO COURT WHATEVER THAT TERM IS....anditstoomucheffort.

And just saying, I TOTALLY SHOULD'VE LISTENED TO WINCHY WHEN SHE TALKED ABOUT HEART OF DARKNESS PRACTICE ESSAY. LIKE BRO, "To what extent can a contemporary reader respond approriately to 'Heart of Darkness'? " REALLY? BRO, REALLY?!?!? uhh like a contemporary reader can respond confuzzledly coz Joseph Conrad bro, speak English. WHICH WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE SHIATLOADS OF ASSOCIATIONS WITH THE ACTUAL CONTENT OF THE BOOK since it's all about english colonisation and how he was actually talking about the English, but he used Belgiums coz he was actually criticising english peeps landing in Congo and all this post-colonial discourse AND ZOMG KILL ME NOW.

Okay bubye. I do realise the font and spacing changed but T.M.E. (too much effort - this abbrev. is gonna be a thing). Another thing. How funny is the word abbrev. It's like a word describing itself....? Okay bye.

~heelorli

Beds, Showers and Gherkins

HAAA.HAA. (nelson from simpsons laugh) I bet the title misled ya'll bitchezzz.(lol i'm re-reading this sentence and i thought "misled" was "misle-d" as in pronounced miss-eld...or mise-eld) if you get what i mean....jellybean.....)

ANYWAY, I AM FREAKING IN LOVE WITH GHERKINS MUDDERBITCHEZ. And i have been for the past two weeks. Gawshezzzzzz. lol. no that word's gay. WHICH REMINDS ME. I've been trolling youtube and i found some trolls called nigahiga and kevjumba who trolled like trolls. Yeah, no. I still don't know how to use "troll". And yeah that just reminded me of one of their vids. I've only started to actually non-stop watch them today. Yeahhh no yeah...just 5 years late. I'm using yeah no yeah an awful lot aye?

OKAY. Back to the gherkins. MAN THEY ARE THE BEST DAMN SNACK/FOOD/ THING on this fricking planet dammit. Omgsh just thinking about them makes my mouth produce excessive saliva which is currently gradually exiting my mouth, down my chin and...plop! onto the desk. And believe it or not, it's not their shape i've fallen in love with ;) It's the WHOLE PACKAGE DAMMIT. First you unscrew the lid, which takes a while especially if it's a new jar, coz that just builds suspense and your mouth would be doing the same as mine right now. Then when you hear that "pop!", man you're in business (quoting huey the cook/chef dude who wears cool-ass braces. As in non-teeth braces but brace braces. Which reminds me, is he even on channel ten anymore? Coz his kind of cooking was like pour in a barrel of Campbell's chicken stock. Wrap it in pre-made pastry. Buy a can of whipped cream. Buy filleted fish and mush it altogether. "Then you're in business" Like Huey bro, come on.) Yeah, back to the gherkins. So you take out a fork/toothpick. (Forks would be better coz sometimes the toothpick isn't long enough to get to the gherkins further down the jar, which then leads to you touching the best damn thing in the world - gherkin juice. Lol i mean the vinegar thing that makes gherkins so fricking delicious and delectable and tastayyyy. And then people would be like omgash you touched the juicy thing and then you'd be like "wtf like, no i didn't" and then they'd be like "like, yeah you did, i'm like totes not eating those anymore" AND THEN SCORE. WHOLE JAR IS YOURS. In which case, toothpick would be better) SO you take the fork/toothpick out of the jar, with a 7.5cm gherkin attached to the end. You open wide. (as in mouth, not.....something else.................awkward.................................) AND THEN BAM! THE FLAVOURS JUST BURST OUT OF THE GHERKIN AND LANDS IN EVERY NOOK AND CRANNY (lulz) OF YOUR FRICKING MOUTH AND THEN YOUR TASTEBUDS GO FRICKING CRAZYYYYYYYYY LIKE ZOMGWTSHIZDF;SKDFJDFKLSJFDJFL BARGHHHHHHHH AND THEN YOUR MOUTH PRODUCES WAYYYYY TOO MUCH SALIVA SINCE IT'S STIMULATED BY THE GHERKIN ;) AND THEN......you swallow. BEST. GHERKIN. EXPERIENCE. EVER.

Then man, you think about the experience and damn, i think that drop of saliva is burning through the desk coz DAYUM that gherkin was awesome.

So that's my holiday. LULLZAAAAA BRO. JOKES. I've been doing wayyyy more than that. . .................like..........watching HIMYM.........forthe4thtime. WHICH REMINDS ME funny quote. So Robin was at a high school prom (lol that's so american) and she came across these "nerds" who were calculating something. but they got the calculation wrong. So she was like "Wow, nerds who are bad at math. You're gonna get far in life." WHICH MADE ME L-TO THE-O-TO THEFRICKING-L.

Okay bye.

Wait, just realised i didn't explain the title. They're things i'm fricking loving at the moment.

Okay fur real friendzzz bye.

~heelorli

Animals

Wow. Long time no blog, and i have like...people commenting on it loll how weird.

ANYWAY, I HAVE SO MUCH FUNNY SHIZ IN MY BRAIN I THINK I NEED TO GET IT OUT. Alright so first one is in jap...where everything funny happens. LOL like when someone was like "what plane are you taking to (the would be) japan trip?" and then she's like QANTAS (then repeats it in japanese) "Cunt ass". LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

AND THEN a few weeks ago, Roberts handed our compositions back and there was one left with no name. So she was like "WHO WROTE TO BUBU? GIRLS, WHO WROTE TO BUBU?" No one replied, so the next lesson, she asked again. "Who wrote to Bubu?" No one replied. "Who didn't get one back?" Then Charity was like "ME" then Roberts showed her the composition and was like "Is this yours?" THEN CHARITY WAS LIKE "Yeah this is mine...but i wrote to bob." HAHHAHAHAHAHAH COZ INSTEAD OF WRITING BOBU SHE WROTE BUBU HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHA okay maybe that didn't sound as funny, but first-hand experience was shiz ass funny.

Then i was browsing around youtube today, and i found some fricking funny ass vids of animals. THE FIRST ONE IS LIKE FRICKING CRAZY FUNNY but it's kinda scary at the same time.

AND THIS ONE!!!

LOL FIRST TIME UPLOADING YOUTUBE VIDS ON BLOG. BETTER WORK OR IT'D JUST BE A BUNCH OF CODED SHIZ HAHA.

Yayyy nearly holidays!!! I'm planning to watch star wars by the way. Hopefully...if anyone wants to join me. lol. . . . . . . . . . ...........awkward.

~heelorli

$$$$$$$$

Okay VERY VERY quick post.

I read this super fas. (haha yeah i'm gonna start a trend bros. Fas will be the abbreviated fascinating) article. Why? It involved Kim Kardashian. Haha. Well this article just makes me even more pissed off at Kim's mum.

So Kim's mum is like a total moneyholic right and she LOVVVVESS money so much that she could probably divorce what's his face and marry money. Lol okay no i don't even know them properly and i'm being such a bitch to her. Sozza brozza. I still love you......r show. Well she gets 10% of Kim's earnings for being her manager, which is a freaking shiatload. But that still isn't enough for her. SO she decides to start her own freaking religion. It's called LifeChange Community Church and Kim financially supports it. But the thing that really WOOOOOWWed me was this quote from a dude.

"If you want to be rich, start a business. If you REALLY want to be rich, start a religion."

Strong words..strong words..............................................

haha

~heelorli